When taking away adds more

I have been spending the past few months de-cluttering and clearing out things, both physical stuff and mental cobwebs. It’s not that I have a ton of things. But there is always something that you can seem to get rid of. And a funny thing happened along the way. I started to rediscover the person that I was.

Getting rid of things triggered the thoughts of why I accumulated something in the first place. I wanted to do something. But I feel into the buy something trap. I thought of doing a podcast, so I got cheap podcast gear. But then I remembered that I don’t like to listen to myself talk. So, after sitting on this stuff for ten months, I got rid of it. There were a few other things: post I never finished, video projects I never got around to. You get the idea. You probably have a few yourself.

But there is another trap, which might even be worse. It is the cultural fetish that we must finish everything you started. Now, we all need to do a better job of following through and finishing. But there comes a certain point that this mantra of productivity becomes a trap. At some point, you need to be honest and say, “I’m not finishing this”. It is a really liberating action.

I found a few things this year that I’m just not getting to. A few were those podcasts and videos that I wasn’t getting to. I de-cluttered stuff that I wasn’t going to be needing, even if I had an idea what I would use it for. Sometimes it is harder to throw things away because we feel we might be throwing away dreams and possibilities. But what if holding onto that thing limits you from other wishes? Maybe new dreams? Or even old ones?

So I began cleaning out. I was also cleaning out all the old files, photos, videos that were just taking up a lot of space. And I some sense, lurking there, waiting for me to do something with them. So I archived. In my younger years this would have been a burn pile. But instead I ruthlessly deleted and purged old digital files. I then pulled it all off the devices and archived it on drives. Maybe to be revisited one day.

It feels like a clean slate. And a funny thing happened along the way. I started to think about the things that I used to do; skiing, winter sports, and being outside more. Stripping everything out to the studs reminded me what I used to be and value. And it all revolves around adventure.

I had this vision in my head. It was the idea of stripping everything out to the studs. Think of it as a deep interior renovation project. Some times, you just need to take things away. I’m there, I can see the bare walls. Some of the process is uncomfortable. In the sense that you really have to admit a bit of defeat. That’s hard in a culture that tells us to accomplish and finish things. Or that the measure of success is based of how much you have.

A real challenge is building back out. It might be too easy to just put the place back like you had it. I hear that. But if you were going to just go back to what was, why bother? Some times, sitting and staring at a blank wall is just what you need to do. Be bored. Learn to live with it. It is way harder than you imagine.

But this is a project in process. Just remember who it is you want to be. Maybe you don’t have that figured out yet. Staring at a blank wall might help. Embrace the void.